| Here is a selection of little known curious truths about
the Underground and it's peculiar inhabitants
- Did you know that Jareth spends about 2/3rds of his income
on clothing, cosmetics, and jewelry? Jareth's favorite eye
shadow is 'lectric blue and he actually has in storage about
8 full cases of aqua-net hairspray. Prada customizes a specific
pointy boot/shoe just for the goblin king. His tights are
the same as those used by the New York Ballet company. The
owl broach sported by Jareth in the film Labyrinth was recently
auctioned off for the Defense Against Biting Fairies organization,
where it fetched a whopping 5000 dollars from a private
collector in Texas. (Where, incidentally, there aren't any
reported incidents of biting fairies...how odd.)
- Did you know that Fireys when under great duress or um--when
tickled to the point of hysterics--are known to violently
spontaneously combust! Not only that, but they are the most
flammable of organic creatures and Muppets by far! These
tests were an independant study by the Goblin scientific
society so there is a 78% rate of inaccuracy on all data.
- The goblin scientific society also concluded that Fireys
were the most fun of all creatures to experiment on.
- Did you know that Jareth once appeared on 60 Minutes
and was interviewed by Barbara Walters?
- During the interview conducted in 1988 he spoke on such
hot topics as the ethics of goblinization and the enviromental
impact of the bog of eternal stench... Sadly the interview
only aired once due to an emotinal outburst by Jareth when
asked by Ms. Walters what he had done that was generous...
Apparently Jareth snapped "Everything!" and went into a
frightening diatribe about how he had re-ordered time and
turned the world upside down to live up to her expectations...
Ms. Walters then had Jareth removed by studio security.
Even as he was being drug off camera he could be heard shouting..."
You cowered, I WAS FRIGHTENING... I'm exhausted from living
up to your expectations!!!" This little jewel fetches high
bids on eBay.
- Did you know that beloved celebrity inhabitant Hoggle
majored in traditonal dance and non-verbal expression while
studying at Underground university and was briefly romantically
linked to Debbie Harry of Blondie?
- Did you know that lovable Mr. Worm has been rumored to
enjoy a most sadistic sport...? FISHING! Rumor has it he
even uses other live worms as bait... chilling.
- Did you know that Ludo has gone on to overcome his monsterous
speech patterns and to record many books on tape including
Oscar Wilde's "Portrait of Dorian Gray" and Shakespear's
"OTHELLO." He also speaks around the globe about overcoming
monsterous traits. He has written a self help book entitled
"Ludo, Friend." It spent three weeks as a best seller and
has gone paperback and is now published in 15 languages.
- Did you know that the average lifespan of a goblin is
20? Sadly the number one cause of death among goblins is
homicide and accidents involving fire, spears and cannons.
The natural lifespan of a goblin is about one hundred years.
- Did you know that in 1993 a commitee of architects was
commisioned to "map" the labyrinth once and for all? Sadly
none that entered ever emerged. In 1995 a group of five
humans in tattered proffesional attire where found in a
remote corner of the labyrinth living as savages...a mechanical
pencil was found in their "nest." Some think they may have
been the final remnants of the commitee.
- Did you know that the bog of eternal stench expands about
ten feet every year? Goblin scientists estimate that it
will envelop the entire Underground in about 1000 years
unless it is curbed.
- Did you know that the rare subterranean form of elves
known as "DARK ELVES" have a huge propensity for spreading
rumours and lies and stories they've made up? It's something
intrinsic to there diabolic nature.
I hope you've enjoyed this look into the obscure. Farewell
til' next time.
Humbly
submitted by Jody, the Dark Elf
send some rumours
and lies his way at halloweenjack15@yahoo.com
|
