It is my extreme pleasure to bring out of legend and shadow one of the most infamous and exotic inhabitants of the illustrious Underground. A name often said in hushed tones and rarely spoken of in mixed company.

     The time has come to lift the veil of rumours and lies and cast a inquisitive eye onto the history and facts that are scattered amid the mythology surrounding Banwarks.

     They have been among us as long as the fairies have told tales and at one time they were among the most prestigious of all whom inhabit the Underground.

     Tall and lithe, an awkward grace to their striding gait they physically remind one of the familiar Troll, but upon closer investigation an enigmatic beauty shines through and the mind draws comparison more so with the Dryads and their Fey delicacy. The Elvin Poet T.J. Newton once wrote in his now famous essay "SOMETHING IN THE AIR":

"Like a fog they glide more than tread and like a wall they dominate and obscure all else around them. The silver fur that coats them as a gentle snow taken as jewelry leaves no doubt of wisdom behind their great eyes of indigo so intense as to make the sea itself rage with envy. I spoke to the BanWark and it it found me wanting. So cruel its judgement that I felt deep pain in its rejection. How dare it cast disdain upon an elvin son so carefully cut from the ivory of the Gods. It turned and walked away and despite my anger I wept a tear having fallen prey to its pride."

     Indeed Mr. Newton wrote words that strike a familiar chord with all who have encountered this elusive beast. Many attribute a regal aura to Banwark and rightfully so as they once held reigns of power as to rival the very Goblin King.

     Some thousand odd years ago they fell from power as the Great Famine swept the land and the peasants looked to the ivory towers where the favorite sons and daughters of Aristocracy fed upon the grain of their field and the fruits of their labor.

     Like fingers on a fist the goblins, elves, gnomes, trolls, and fireys united and smashed the majestic heiarchy that seemed content to let their wells go dry and their bellies ache with hunger. The Banwark lords and clergy were violently
stripped of their titles and forced deep into hiding as they had refused to reconcile with the coup and surrender the reigns of power that they had traditionally held for as long as stars had littered the sky. Unable to swallow their pride they forced
themselves into exile and embraced isolation. The famine was now a harsh reality that they adjusted to in a most unusual manner. As is the way of blue blood to taint the brain in which it flows they carried out a gruesome and diabolical soloution
to their food shortage. True to their sophisticated palates they decided that they must make grandeur of what was readily available and that just so happened to be Goblins. Never ones to shun excess they began what is still a Banwark tradition.

     Goblin Gourmet was invented. Meals of exceptional artistic merit and esoteric taste flourished. It is estimated that over one million different Goblin Recipes are now in existance and that none can be prepared by anyone other than trained Banwark chefs. It has even been rumoured from time to time that despite Jareth's position as Goblin King, that he has in his employ a master chef of the Banwarkian persuasion to turn weak goblin soldiers into excellent meals.

     What of their Indominatable pride and its astounding endurance after years and years of obscurity? Scholars have nearly concluded that Banwarks only die when and if they should choose. Indeed, it is thought that many of the very Banwarks
that call the mystical forest home are the very same ones that ruled the realm all those centuries ago. One Goblin Hunter claims to have "convinced" a Banwark that she should die after shooting an arrow through the very heart of the beast. He claims that he told her "Livin' don't make no sense. If Banwarks wuz so smart you'd know that I gots ya in der heart." Never
ones to appear stupid the Banwark took his suggestion to heart (literally) and complied that his reasoning had merit, then matter of factly set about the morbid task of dying.

     Should you ever happen upon a Banwark, remember that you are in the presence of an ancient and unique being and should it frown and shun you as unworthy to look upon don't feel too badly as you keep good company among the finest poets and scholars. If you are of the Goblin persuasion be afraid if it greets the sight of you with a smile. Chances are it has dinner plans in mind.

Written by the Iron Jody... Al Kazaam!

send goblin recipes to halloweenjack15@yahoo.com

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