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Oh to be a fly on the castle wall... Indeed, that's what
I was this past Sunday. I had been dabbling with a bit of
this and that in the realm of Dark Arts and somehow managed
to upset a deity or two (they can be so SENSITIVE!!) Next
thing I know I have "incurred the wrath of BELZEBUBB"
and TA-DA, I'm a FLY. Being an oppurtunist, I decided to capitalize
on the situation and buzzed merrily over to Jareth's castle.
What indeed does our Golden Boy fill his Day-to-Day with
I have often wondered. Well, allow me to enlighten you as
to his agenda as I observed it to be.
6:15 A.M.- I buzz into his window and behold the
glory of his private chamber. It is a large and cold room.
The walls are marble and adorned with many posters...Culture
Club, The Go-Go's, Dead Or Alive, Duran Duran and Cyndi Lauper
make up the mix of eighties pop stars. The floor is cut from
triangular green stones and covered by scattered laundry.
A four
poster bed is the room centerpiece and sleeping on gold lamay
bed sheets is none other than the Goblin King himself Jareth.
He looks to be in deep and content sleep but as I buzz closer
to his stately face I see his mouth open slightly and a sad
frown claim his expression as the single word "SARAH"
is uttered mournfully. I feel a twinge of shame as I have
stolen a private moment. I land on the rather large and elaborate
gold framed mirror that occupies the northern wall of the
bedchamber and wait for his waking hour...
7:15 A.M.- A knock on the heavy door brings him to
the waking world...he sits up and stretches then yawns and
rubs his eyes....then looks down at his blackened fingers(mascara
not taken off properly the night before can be an unpleasent
surprise the next morning!) He hops up and I take note of
the pricey-looking black silk pajamas he is sporting. (It's
good to be King I conclude.) He saunters over to the mirror
upon which I am resting and looks deeply at his own image...
He gives himself a dashing look and confidently says.... "Good
Morning Handsome!" As he turns to walk away I swear he
looks over his shoulder back at the reflection and glimpses
his own derrier cheekily. He leaves the chamber and I fly
earnestly down the long dim hallway after him... He seems
to have ducked into the bathroom. I decide it best to wait
in the hallway for him to do whatever is his regal duty. (Some
things are truly sacred thank you very MUCH!)
8:30 A.M. ....waiting....
9:00 A.M. .....waiting still.....
9:30 A.M. .......Waiting..... The sound of a shower
and a raucous vocal rendition of "THE CRYING GAME"
warbles out in Jareth's velvet tones...
10:00A.M. ....Waiting still.... The distinct sound
of a hairdryer emanates from the bathroom now....
10:30 A.M. ..... Jareth emerges in fine form with his
grandiose mane of blonde hair teased into a fountain of golden
strands... His makeup is mostly silver tones today and he
is now wearing an emerald green leather shirt with a mandarin
collar and shoulder pads.... He is also in trademark revealing
green tights...his shoes are the latest in high elf fashion
and curl dramatically at the toe...very old world yet very
modern...a nice touch if I do say so myself. He smells strongly
of a fragrance.... I'm not sure but I suspect it is Elizabeth
Taylor's latest perfume... He strides down the hallway and
descends the palace steps into the main parlor. A rather round
goblin is seated upon the red velvet couch and is watching
cartoons merrily.... Jareth stands staring with his hands
staunchly on his narrow hips until at last the pudgy goblin
looks up emits a slight scream, hops up quickly and trots
out of the room. Jareth saunters to the couch, gathers the
remote control for the large screen television, and changes
the channel to....
11:15 A.M. ....Jazzercise!... He then much to my amazement
commences to Jazzercise happily. And we all wondered how he
kept his boyish figure...who woulda' guessed?
12:15 P.M. After a hour of dedicated jazzericising
he has hardly broken a sweat and seems energized and pepped
up. Even as he does his final stretches the round goblin he
sent dashing away earlier re-enters the room with a chef's
hat sitting atop his lil' round green head. "Lunch Sir,"
he says in a very formal voice... Formal for a goblin anyway...
12:20 P.M. Jareth follows behind the goblin chef and
enters into the kitchen - which by the way is furnished archaichly
with an old style wood burning stove and heavy wooden dining
tables and chairs....On the table sits a meal of vegetarian
splendor...the goblin has truly outdone himself. It looks
so good that I can't resist landing on it once and having
a chomp of some asparagus... This by the way nearly got me
swatted by the irritated Jareth. It's a sad sight really watching
the Goblin King dine alone.... He looks kind of empty as he
eats...
1:00 P.M. Having finsihed off his lunch (every bite
mind you! he should get a gold star) an odd look crosses his
face...one of sudden acute awareness.... He looks left and
right rapidly and then he stands, pushes his chair to the
table and darts through the kitchen out into the garden. I
buzz swiftly behind him curious as to what our boy has in
mind and narrowly avoiding the sharp slam of the kitchen door.
Bright golden sunlight blasts down through the canopy of green
leaves swaying from the sturdy fruit trees.... All around
us is a splendor one would conjure when thinking of the mythic
Eden. A stone bench sits in the center of a courtyard... Jareth
swiftly sits and with one flick of his slight wrist produces
a pack of Gitanes! He smiles broadly as he packs the case
in his hands and withdraws one slender white ciggarette after
the other... lights them, savors them, and cooly slides the
remaining butt under a statue of St. Grimey (goblin martyr
1642-1675)... when at last he has inhaled seven of secret
pleasures he sits back contently and closes his eyes... Natural
as rain a nap ensues....
2:30 P.M. The goblin chef, now sporting a green baseball
cap and trousers, carrying a trowel and a water pitcher comes
into the garden and having found our sleeping beauty walks
over to gently wake him.... "M'lord...Visitors soon,
M'lord...," he croaks out softly... Jareth stirs and
sits up groggily...his hair flattened in the back and his
makeup smeared... "Oh thank you Gozzle, I musta' slipped
off ..." He rises and walks slowly back into the kitchen....
As I follow I hear the goblin mutter, "Gnizzle, me name's
Gnizzle ....grrrrrr....," then plain as day he lifts
the statue of St. Grimey and begins picking up the butts Jareth
took such pains to hide... It would seem that perhaps it is
no secret our king still harbors the habit he boasts to have
beaten (see The Goblin
King's Fa-Fa-Fa Fashions.) Once inside it's directly
to the bathroom.
3:00 P.M. Jareth emerges from the bathroom having repaired
the damage to his pristine hair and touched up his makeup.
He trods down the hallway and enters the throne room...with
its high cathedral ceiling and flowing red carpet it seems
incomplete 'til Jareth takes his proper place in it's center.
He sits rigidly in the narrow throne and stares at the double
doors before him....waiting regally...
3:20 P.M. The very same goblin from the garden and
kitchen enters wearing the deep purple robes of a royal advisor
- he also sports a victorian white wig. Solemnly he explains
that the ambassador from the fiery tribe shall be the first
consultation of the day followed by a representitive of the
faeries against genocide movement, then finally a gnome seeking
a grant to build a new wing onto the labyrinth... Jareth has
a distinct scowl as the wheels turn behind his eyes and his
words roll forth in a low rumble.
"I have no patience for such trivial matters....Tell
the fiery chief that NO, we haven't changed our policy on
head swapping...it is still illegal within the walls of the
Goblin City! Tell the faery beauracrat that our kingdom does
not recognize a genocide threat to the fey community, that
all the faery homicides have been isolated incidences... As
for the gnome,...I dunno...lock him in an oubliette for all
I care, Gnozzle!"
The goblin bows and turns to leave as he passes me I hear
him mutter incredgulously, "Gnizzle...me name's Gnizzle...grrrrr..."
Jareth sits alone in the throne room, his head hung low and
a somber aire about him. The cathedral windows bleed from
bright yellow to dull orange before he takes to his feet resolvedly
and plods out into the hallway.
6:00 P.M. Jareth mopes into the kitchen again where
his humble and dedicated servant has once again donned the
chef's hat and prepared yet another solitary feast of twigs
and berries... He pours forth a fine cup of elvin pale wine
and takes his leave without a word. I sit and watch as Jareth
picks at the food before him, a lost and lonely look in his
beguiling eyes... He drinks
but a sip of his wine then covers the remainder of his food
with a napkin. He sits contemplativly for a moment then rises
and trods down the hallway towards his room...
7:00 P.M. The castle is silent and a candleabra lights
Jareth's bedchamber. He sits on his grand four poster bed
and gazes transfixed at the candles melting... I am perplexed
at how morose our fearless king is... how sad he truly seems.
After some time he reaches to his nightstand and lifts a small
silver bell delicately betwixt his index finger and thumb
and ever so gently
rings it... In moments Gnizzle appears still sporting his
chef's hat...
"Bazzle, fetch me the minstrels and have them come to
play for me now...I have need of merriment."
"If it pleases you..." he complies and walks out.
A soft, frustrated growl trails him.
8:00 P.M. A ragtag trio of goblins sporting horribly
tacky, bright red body stockings and jester's motleys arrive
to the dimly lit bedchamber... Jareth appears as mere eyeslits,
one blue and one geen from the seclusion of the bed...they
begin playing there crude instruments in the style of a carnival
polka. One wails on a brass horn while another beats a bongo
drum...the worst however is by far the dancing accordian player.
The sounds clash and clamor brashly and when it swells to
a earsplitting crescendo, Jareth mercifully holds up an authoritative
hand and they stop instantly and stare in silence waiting...
Waiting for his command.
"No, no, no, boys not that one...you know what I want
to hear...."
The goblins look at one another nervously and the bongo player
begins slapping the drum in a slow and steady drone....the
horn blows out a long and mournful note....the accordian player
begins carefully squeezing out an oddly familiar tune... It
takes me a moment to place it, but when I do it is purely
unmistakable. They are giving a rather fine rendition of Joy
Division's anthem..."LOVE WILL TEAR US APART" when
at last the song ends Jareth claps methodically and then says
monotonely, "Again." The song starts all over and
the goblins replicate their performance perfectly. This continues
three or four more times until at last Jareth dismisses them
and they literally scurry out of the room....
9:00 P.M. Jareth rises and slinks down the hall into
the bathroom.... I wait outside in the black hallway as has
become my custom.... The sounds of a bath are unmistakeable
and among the sounds of swirling water comes the distinctive
voice of Jareth gliding gently into a moving acapella version
of "AS THE WORLD FALLS DOWN." I sit in private attendance
of his performance and as he sings the last refrain I feel
a tear fall from one of my hundereds and hundreds of fly eyes....
10:15 P.M. He emerges in an extremely comfy-looking
white kimono, beneath it I can see the black silk pajamas
peeking out, his face is sans makeup but every bit as striking
and remarkable, the lines lend it a dignity that he trades
for glamour with his makeup. His long blonde hair is pulled
back into a pony tail, he produces a crystal ball from seemingly
thin air and rolls it effortlessly from one long slender finger
to the next as he walks to the end of the hallway and with
a thought eases open the large stainglassed window in front
of him. The night air rushes into the hallway refreshingly
as the silver moonlight frames Jareth's fragile form in the
windowsill.... He rolls the crystal ball to the end of his
fingertips and ever so softly kisses it off into the air where
it floats gracefully into the sky....
"G'night fair Sarah," he whispers and turns back
into the hallway. The window creaks closed behind him as he
enters his bedchamber once again.
10:30 P.M. I buzz under the crack in the door as he
shuts it behind him... He lights his bedside candle and removes
a book from his bookshelf... I wonder what fabulous volume
of first edition poetry our Sire has chosen to savor, but
am shocked to see it is instead a well thumbed-through paperback
of bestseller "MEN ARE FROM MARS, WOMEN ARE FROM VENUS"
...go figure... He draws back his bedsheets and climbs in
cozily.
12:00 A.M. ...Jareth puts his book aside and rises
from his bed....he walks to the hallway and towards the stained
glass window, as he grows nearer the window opens and in floats
the shimmering crystal ball back from its journey. Something
swirls within it and I buzz as close as I can as Jareth reaches
up and takes it into his grasp.... I steal a glance over his
shoulder
and see that within the orb is an image of the sleeping, peacful
face of Sarah... Jareth smiles warmly and genuinely and closes
his fingers around the orb. It vanishes as quickly it came.
The window shuts and Jareth goes back into his bed chamber...
I follow closely and watch as he climbs back into the big
bed and puts out his reading candle.
13:00??? I leave behind the castle and feel a sense
of peace...
(Lucky for me that the next day I returned to my true
dark elf form..it turns out I was just a 24-hour bug!)
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