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Ever Wonderered what kind of Goblin you are? Take this Goblin
aptitude test and find out what your job down in the Underground
would be. Answer honestly and let your inner Goblin lead the
way.
| 1). You see a pie on a windowsill
and your stomach growls its desire audibly, do you... |
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A). Take the pie! Damn the consequences!!
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B). Go Home and make a pie of your
own in your cozy kitchen. |
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C). Steal the pie sneakily and eat
it in the bushes giggling. |
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D.) Try to convince the pies owner
to share with you or offer to buy the pie. |
| 2). A Goblin blessed with far
larger teeth and muscles than you commands you to go fetch
it an Ale. Do you... |
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A). Go fetch the biggest Whacking
Stick in the land and leave a few firm impressions on
its noggin'. |
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B). Go get a Tankard of Ale and serve
it to the big, scary Git. |
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C). Go get a tankard and serve it
up to him slyly smiling as it washes down a generous pint
of goblin wee. |
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D). Serve the Brute it's Ale blended
slyly with a few drops of deadly poison. |
| 3). It's Jareth's Bithday and
you haven't gotten anything for him and you don't have
any money. Do you... |
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A). Throttle a smaller weaker Gobbo
and steal their present. |
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B). Make Jareth a gift from scratch,
like maybe a nice leather doll or a popsicle stick fairy
cage. |
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C). Hide all day long and if anybody
finds you pretend that you are looking for your lost rat
stinky. |
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D.) Tell Jareth that Hoggle stole
your gift and then gave it to that Sarah Girl to impress
her. |
| 4). Hoggle is crying in the
bushes claiming no one loves him because he is lumpy and
frightfully shy. Do you... |
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A). Throw stones at him and laugh
cruelly as you call out to everyone to come and mock him.
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B). Offer the poor dear a nice cup
of tea and tissue. |
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C). Tell him to bribe you generously
or else you will go get the big, stupid Goblins to come
and throw stones at him. |
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D.) Tell him you will be his friend
if he does your bidding. |
| 5). Sir Didymus claims that
you have injured his pride and challenges you to a duel.
Do you... |
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A). Look forward to this oppurtunity
to thrash him good and proper, after all he is merely
a little dog muppet. |
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B). Apologize to him, after all he
is knight and everyone knows they are trained killers.
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C). Run away, but later when he is
sleeeping shave off his eyebrows. |
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D). Decline the duel, then go and
tell Jareth that you witnessed Sir. Diddimus using his
Hairbrush. |
| 6). The Kindly Worm comes upon
you as you are strolling and asks you to join him for
a cup of tea. Do you... |
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A). Step on him and squish him good.
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B). Join him for tea and ask to meet
the missus. |
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C). Have some tea, case his house
while you are there, then come back and steal the good
silver while he and the missus are nighty-night winkums
later that evening. |
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D). Join him for tea and then read
your tea leaves to project your future. |
| 7). Sarah comes to you and
pleads with you to help her find her baby brother Toby
who's in the castle in the Goblin city at the center of
the Labyrinth. Do you... |
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A). Chase her out of the Labyrinth
and give her the scare of her life. |
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B). Help out the little girl, after
all, you are a sucker for tears. |
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C). Offer your assistance, then lure
her to the BOG OF ETERNAL STENCH and give her a lil' push.
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D). Offer your help, then take her
all the way back to the beginning of the Labyrinth where
Jareth is waiting to mock her flirtatiously. |
| 8). One of the Fire Gang playfully
tugs at your head. Do you... |
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A.) slap him silly and punt his head into
THE BOG OF ETERNAL STENCH. |
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B). Explain politely that your head
is non-removable. |
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C.) Steal his head, then lock it in
an oublitte and offer to sell it back to him for ransom.
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D.) Tell him it's "Steal Jareth's
Head Day" at the castle and send him merrily to his certain
death. |
| 9). What is your favorite color? |
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A.) Blood Red |
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B.) All colors are equal and beautiful. |
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C.) Gold |
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D.) What difference does it make?
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| 10.) Jareth is sound asleep
and no one else is around. Do you... |
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A). Whack him on the head and proclaim
yourself the new Goblin King! |
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B.) Get him a blanky and guard him
loyally. |
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C.) Take a peek and see if he really
does hide grapes in his tights. |
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D.) Kill Hoggle, put a whacking stick
in his hand, wake Jareth and tell him that you just saved
him from a savage assassination attempt and then bask
in his grateful adoration and good favor. |
The results!
If your answers are mostly made up of A's, you
demonstrate the capacity to be a Great Goblin Warlord.
Your ferocity and aggressive nature will be a great
boon on the battlefield and will undoubtably win you
many admirers.
If your answers are made up mostly of B's, You would be
most happy as a Goblin Castle servant, Tending to the Garden,
preparing meals, fixing tattered drapes and mending torn tights.
Your docile demeanor and kind heart would make you a unique
goblin indeed.
If your Answers are mainly C's, you have what it takes to
be a Goblin Baby Snatcher. Your devious and mischevious nature
would serve you well in this dangerous occupation. Wily and
daring you take all you can from the goblin experience.
If your answers are mostly D's You are suited for a
most prestigious occupation as a Goblin Sorceror. Far
more wise in wickedness than most, and blessed with
machiavellian tendencies you have the potential to go
vey far in the Underground. A rare breed indeed.
If You find yourself tied betwixt two or more
positions you are a versitile and complex goblin who
has before it much oppurtunity and potential. Explore
your blended ambitions and seek out your true path.
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