The next morning Jareth rolled over in his bed and groaned.  There were terrible sounds coming from somewhere in the castle but he wasn’t sure where.  It was like nothing he’d ever heard before and it was driving sleep from him as effectively as the Fireys having a party right in his bedroom.

With a curse he got up.  With a snap of his fingers he was dressed and began to hunt down that dreadful noise.  If it was one of his goblins, they’d pay dearly for disturbing his sleep.  It would be straight into the Bog for them!  It was only 10 in the morning, for crying out loud.  He never got up until midday at the earliest.  The noise led him straight to Sarah’s rooms.  What in the Underground was she doing?  A second later he’d appeared in her room.  Hoggle, Ludo and Sir Didymus were there and all four of them were jumping on Sarah’s massive bed.

“LET’S DANCE!”  they were singing at the tops of their lungs, “PUT ON YOUR RED SHOES AND DANCE THE BLUES!”

Jareth clamped his elegant, gloved hands over his ears and made a strange, furious, fizzing noise of sheer angst.

He glanced over at the flickering screen in one corner of the room.  On it, a weird looking man was generating the terrible noise that was invading the castle.  Jareth’s eyes widened.  It was that outlandish David Bowie person.  He watched with his mouth open, unable to tear his eyes away.

As he watched, he saw the scenery change and the same person suddenly had hair the color of the Fireys and was wearing terrible make-up.  He was singing something about “Ground Control to Major Tom…”  Who was Major Tom?  What was Ground Control?

“AND I THINK MY SPACESHIP KNOWS WHICH WAY TO GO – OH!  AND THE STARS LOOK VERY DIFFERENT TODAAA – AAA- AAY!” the chorus on the bed joined in.

Jareth looked daggers at them.  Had they no taste?  They even seemed to be enjoying this… this… din!  With a sudden gesture, he pointed at the TV and the sound faded a little.

“Ohhhhhhhh!” the fans on the bed complained, looking sulkily at the intruder in their midst.

“Sarah,” the Goblin King said in clipped tones, “Could it be that you actually like this noise?”

“Oooohhhh, David Bowie is the best,” Sarah agreed enthusiastically.

A look of disbelief and fine contempt swept over the Goblin King’s aristocratic features.  “And you Hogwart, Ludo and Sir Didymus – how might you actually know all the words to this drivel?”  Jareth asked with an icey cold glare at his subjects.

“We like what Sawah like,” Ludo replied sincerely.

“Well said, Sir Ludo,” Sir Didymus rejoined.

Jareth’s cold gaze came to rest on Sarah and he eyed her silently for a few moments.  “Sarah, would you care to tell me what it is about this raving, untalented, maniac with no dress sense that you find so appealing?” Jareth asked coolly.

“Well,” Sarah said, sitting down on the bed to make herself more comfortable.  Jareth could see that this was going to take awhile…  “He’s good-looking, for a start…” Jareth snorted elegantly at this pronouncement.  “And he’s got a great voice,” she continued undaunted.  Jareth nearly choked on that one.  “And he’s creative and brilliant…”  Jareth was beginning to find this tedious.  “And he’s produced original music over a long period of time…”  Very original, Jareth thought.  So original that it’s barely recognizable as music.  “And he’s creative in so many different areas – he has so many talents…”  Funny, Jareth thought – I can’t see any evidence of any talent at anything so far.  “And he’s really intelligent… Oh, and did I mention he’s really good-looking?”

“Yes, you did,” Jareth said through clenched teeth.

“Well, what more do you want?” Sarah asked, bouncing up as Blue Jean came on.

“BLUE JEAN… I JUST MET A GIRL NAMED BLUE JEAN…”  She sang at the top of her lungs.  Hoggle, Ludo and Sir Didymus joined in.

“ONE DAY I’M GOING TO WRITE A POEM IN A LETTER!  ONE DAY I’M GOING TO GET THAT FACULTY TOGETHER!”

“Arrggghhh!”  Jareth yelled in frustration.  And then became fascinated by the action on the screen.  That bizarre guy was wearing a turban and way too much make-up.  And really peculiar shoes! 

Jareth’s nose wrinkled in disgust.  That Bowie person should really not try to dance.  It made him look like he was having a fit.

“Sarah,” Jareth said, trying to get her attention again as she bounced up and down holding Hoggle’s hands.

“SHE GOT EVERYTHING!….” Sarah sang ecstatically.  “What is it, Jareth?” she asked, annoyed at the interruption.

“What on earth do you see in that skinny, washed out freak with the bad wardrobe?” he asked, infuriated.

She frowned.  “Well, you know – it’s funny you ask that because he sort of reminds me a bit of you!” she said quite seriously but with mischief lurking in her eyes.

Jareth was actually speechless.  “Of me?” he finally managed to say.  “You must be joking!” he said loftily.

“You look alike,” Sarah said, now perfectly serious.  “Look!” she said, pointing at the screen.  He looked, horrified.

“I HEAR HER HEART BEATING, LOUD AS THUNDER.  I SAW STARS CRASHING DOWN…” The skinny, androgynous, bleach blonde with the bad 80s permed hair-do on the TV sang.  Jareth caught his breath.  For a second it sounded just like something he’d once sung to Sarah herself.

“There’s such a fooled heart, beating so fast in search of new dreams… I’ll leave my love between the stars…” the song echoed in Jareth’s memory.

“I do NOT look like that!” Jareth spat contemptuously then glared at Sarah as if defying her to repeat it.

“Fine, you may not see it but it doesn’t mean the resemblance isn’t there,” Sarah said airily.

“I AM A DJ, I AM WHAT I PLAY!” the motley little choir began again as the video clips moved on.

There was that hideous pink jumpsuit again, Jareth thought incredulously.  And did David Bowie just kiss that other bloke on the mouth?  Jareth was frankly horrified.  How disgusting, he thought with an elegant sniff.

“BELIEVING THE STRANGEST THINGS, LOVING THE ALIEN!” 

That Bowie person’s bright blue face paint was too much for Jareth, he couldn’t bear another minute.  With a hiss of disgust, he disappeared to find some ear-plugs.

“I CATCH A PAPER BOY BUT THINGS DON’T REALLY CHANGE, I’M STANDING IN THE WIND BUT I NEVER WAVE BYE BYE…” Jareth heard echoing behind him.

As she watched him go, Sarah gave what sounded remarkably like an evil laugh then blew a kiss to the TV screen.