A Beginning

“Damn him, damn him, damn HIM!” Stark paced his guest chambers restlessly, throwing things and then recreating them with magic and then throwing them again.  “How dare he treat me with such disrespect!  After everything – how dare he!” Stark laid down upon his bed, thoughts of sticking a pike through Jareth’s heart racing through the dark and twisting passages of his mind.  Yes, ridding the world of Jareth would be perfect – ridding the fifth kingdom – Stark’s kingdom – of that one would be most pleasurable.

It wasn’t enough, no not enough, that Jareth had championed the little dirty buggers, no, but he had convinced the council that the outlands would be a suitable kingdom for the goblins.  Stark had once held plans for the outlands – he wanted to create his own fifth kingdom – not through the council’s approval of course, but through force.  He had planned to use the goblins to overtake the outlands and set up his own ruling government.  Once in power, and with the loyal support of a certain council member, he would have been able to overtake other kingdoms and become the single ruling power of the underground.  Yet fate had not been with him, Jareth had requested the outlands before Stark had enough influence over the babbling goblins and Jareth had almost immediately been granted the rights.  So, Stark was sent back to the fourth kingdom to act as heir under his mother.  This, more than nearly anything, enraged Stark.  He had hoped to gain Jareth’s help at first, when that had failed, he had hoped to at least gain his trust and to work his deceit from the inside, when that had failed, he sought to appeal to Jareth’s generous nature and request to be a governing power under him within the fifth kingdom, even if it was only in an outlying township.  But Jareth had blatently refused this last audience and dismissed Stark as if he were nothing.

But as he sat enraged at the thought of once again being sent home without an audience with the great lord of the goblins – another image came to his mind – “Yes, my little pet.  You may be just the undoing I require.”  He laughed, a dreadfully deep and sadistic laugh, as thoughts formed from the darkness of his mind.

Endless moments passed as the two stared at each other.  It was as if all time had ended and the world had fallen away from them.  Her eyes met his mismatched orbs and confusion volleyed itself against her reason.  He was here, before her once again, but why?  To offer to her her dreams, or to steal them again?  Frozen there, within reach was the Goblin King and frozen in time was Sarah, confused and angry.

Jareth finally broke the silence, his voice full of warmpth “I don’t know how to begin.”   His entire demeanor radiated a gentle sadness.

“You could begin with an apology, you bastard.” The words leapt from Sarah’s throat before she could stop them, and parlayed his warmpth with ice.

Jareth stopped.  His calm and gentle manner dissolved before her in an instant, replaced with the image she recalled from her first journey through the Labyrinth – one of arrogance, power, sensuality, strength and pride.  A chill ran down Sarah’s spine, but she stared him down, unafraid.  Jareth straightened his posture and walked back to his throne. 

“An apology?  I owe you no such thing and you deserve far less than I have given you.  I have always done what you have asked Sarah, always.  You asked that I take your brother, I took him.  You asked to take on the challenge of my Labyrinth, I gave you that – far more than that.  You turned away my gifts and I did not force them on to you – though I could have.” His voice was tauntingly cold.  “I played the role you assigned me in your little fairy tale fantasy” anger crept into his voice “and still you rebuked my kindness.” With a pause and a sigh, he continued, noticing that his outburst had little effect on the defiant woman before him “I brought you here again, when you wished it, causing no harm to you.  I…..”

“You stole my memories.” Her voice was soft but stern and that one phrase slapped Jareth across the face for an instant, but he quickly recovered.  “How do you explain that, Your Highness?  Was it your generosity that cost me the memory of my victory, my friends, my time in the Labyrinth?” Sarah’s resolve nearly faltered at that point, and tears began to well in her eyes, but they did not fall. 

“So, that is all you ever cared about, all you wanted to remember – your victory.  I see.  Well, it is good to finally know the truth Sarah.”

“How dare you!  Did you take one moment, one single moment to think of what you were taking from me?  That you were taking everything from me?”

“Everything?” He was walking toward her again, his strides long, his voice angered “You do not know what it is to have everything shattered!”  He stood before her again, but Sarah did not move.

She looked up into the enraged king’s eyes, “You took away my dreams. You took away my dreams of…”  Sarah’s cheeks flushed and she turned her face to the floor, admitting in her mind what she could not admit with words.

“I offered you your dreams and you refused them.” He turned his back to her and began to walk towards the doors.

“You took away my memories of...you.”

Jareth stopped.  Sarah turned away completely, embarrassed and angered at what she had said, of what she had admitted.  That Jareth had not been some monster, he had been the image of her desire and that he had fulfilled every fantasy she had ever created.  The confusion and frustration welled inside her, replacing her anger.  She was tired, with a deep breath, she turned back to face him.  “All I wanted, more than anything else, was to remember you.”  All of the memories and emotions that had flooded her conscious mind in the last few days were too much – somewhere, between dreaming and reality, she had recalled her time here, but it had always been too far out of her reach, too far removed from her conscious mind.  To have it all handed back to her, to be here again, to remember everything was too much.  She closed her eyes and turned her back to Jareth once again, allowing the tears to finally fall. 

Sarah felt a hand upon her shoulder, but she did not turn.  “It had to be done.  You could never understand.”  Jareth’s words held anger, but not towards Sarah, toward something else.

Turning back to face him, unashamed of her tear stained cheeks, she defiantly stared into his eyes “I will never understand, unless you tell me.” He stared back at her, and she never faltered in her gaze.  “I am not the child who once walked the halls of a Labyrinth, frightened and angry.  Jareth, please.  Try to explain.” Jareth shook his head and stepped away, he looked up to the sky and then back at the beauty before him.

Jareth laughed softly “Sarah I could never deny you anything. If you wish to know, then so be it, but, please, know that no harm will come to you by my hand.  If ever I had meant to hurt you, it would have passed already.”  He stood beside her again and whispered “Comfare telenoct”.  Before Sarah could respond with a confused ‘what’ the two were in a smaller, more conversational, room.  “This is my study, Sarah.  We can talk more freely here.”

The room was plush, to say the least.  Three of the walls were adorned with bookshelves, containing books, bottles, maps, papers, and oddities of all sorts.  There was a desk on the fourth wall and near it was a small table and two velvet cushioned chairs.  The entire room was lit by a candle-like glow and the carpeting was a rich burgundy that seemed to alter its shade as the observer moved position.  The room was large, and Sarah noticed that in one of the shelves was a cabinet full of beautiful glass bottles and all kinds and glasses.  Strewn about the room were lush pillows, she assumed for sitting or sleeping on if the case called for it.  She noticed there was no door, no way out. 

Sarah turned on Jareth with fear rising in her eyes.  As if reading her thoughts he simply replied, “This place is safe for us to talk.  No one can enter without my permission and no one can overhear our conversation.  If you wish to leave,” Jareth placed a pendant in her hands, it’s centerpiece a perfect sapphire oval, “Simply say where it is you would like to go.  And when you would like to return, you are free to do so at any time. You are the only other person now with access to my study.”  As if that had answered all of her questions and solved all of the swirling insecurities of Sarah’s mind, Jareth walked over to the cabinet and pulled out an iridescent bottle and two glasses. “Please, sit.” And he motioned to one of the chairs near the table.  Sarah sat and Jareth poured two glasses of a deep ruddy colored liquid and placed one in front of Sarah.  The odor that wafted up to Sarah’s nose was familiar and warm, but she couldn’t place it.

“Sarah, what do you remember from the last time you were here?”

Sarah paused and looked into eyes, sadness and regret reading plainly across her expression.  It pained Jareth to see her like this, but there really had been no other choice.  “Yesterday, I think it was yesterday, I began to remember small things, images and feelings really, nothing tangible – you saw to that.  But as of this morning, more and more is coming back, I think I can recall nearly everything….nearly, there are still some things that nip at the back of my mind, things I want to recall, but can’t.  But why, Jareth?  Why deny me my memories for so long only to give them back to me now?  If I leave, will you take them again?  I just, Jareth, why?”

Jareth stood a long moment thinking before he replied and when he did, his voice was as stern and cautious as Sarah had ever heard. “I say this now, and I ask that you let me finish.  Do not interrupt, just hear me out.  These are not excuses, just the plain, if harsh, truths.” He took a sip from his glass, and then set it down on the table, “Sarah, I did what had to be done.  The council of the kingdoms demanded that I take them from you after you refused my offer to stay.  If I had not taken them, they would have, and the council would not have been as kind about it as I.  There are rules in the Underground – rules which, for our safety, cannot ever be broken.  The Aboveground is not to know of our existence except for in that place between sleeping and waking,” his voice changed, and he looked at her for a instance “that is where I would come to visit you all of these years.  As often as I could I would come to you and let you remember…” He began to reach towards her face, but stopped short. “To let you recall just a touch of what I had taken from you.  But I never showed you my face, never let you recall me…”  Jareth’s voice shifted again, he drank from his glass and sat across from her.  Clearing his throat, he began again, “If I had allowed the council to take your memories, you would have lost far more than your recollection of those thirteen hours and of me, you would have lost your dreams and fantasies, your desire for something more than Aboveground.” He looked deep into her eyes.  Sarah’s heart began to beat quickly, pounding inside her chest, tears welling up in her eyes.  Jareth placed an open hand on the table “Everything I did, I did for you, because of you.  I never meant to harm you – I thought, you despised me after you refused my offer to stay, but never did I mean to harm you.  It was the only way to spare you – had the council gone through  Sarah, I am sorry for the pain I caused you, in my eagerness to please you, I did not know that I was hurting you.”

With a sigh, Jareth leaned back in his chair and closed his eyes.  He looked tired, as if the weight of the world had just been lifted from his shoulders.  Sarah sat silent and pondered everything he had just told her.  Her mind reeled – could she believe him? Should she?  Why would he lie? She found herself believing his words, believing in him.  But fear still lurked at the edges of her mind, it would take time to trust him.

“I understand.” Sarah said quietly.  Jareth looked up slowly – his eyes meeting hers – a look of cautious hope outlined his features.  “I understand,” Sarah repeated, “but this will take time, and I don’t know where to go from here, I don’t know if I can trust you, yet.  I don’t…I don’t want to leave yet.  Jareth, I….” Her words trailed off into nothing as she placed her hand inside his.  “I want to trust you.”

Jareth smiled quietly and raised a glass “To a beginning.”

Sarah raised hers and they drank.

So the two sat alone, in silence, staring into each other’s souls as the world fell down around them.