Coming Home

“Sarah, do you remember anything?” Sarah’s father had been asking her the same question for the past three days.  She had awakened, stiff and sore, in a bed in the spare bedroom/office (which used to be her bedroom) in her father’s and Karen’s house.

“Nothing, Daddy, sorry.” Came her reply.  Sarah was exhausted.  She had done nothing but drift in and out of sleep for the past seventy-two hours, and her dreams were vivid.  She awoke only and hour or two after falling asleep, always to the same sensation of being trapped, hurt, then safe, then abandoned.  The dreams were so real.  All she could remember was the feeling of being emptied of all of her energy and then the feeling of utter abandonment.  She fought every time she awoke, strained to remember anything, but she was so weak, she usually just drifted back into sleep, only to awaken again in a sweat, pleading for him not to leave her.

“Well, I am sure you will in time, princess.” Her father kissed her head.  “You should try and get out of the house today and go for a walk.  Toby can go with you, you know, just to keep an eye on his big sister.”  Sarah smiled, she missed Toby and was glad to see Karen hadn’t corrupted his young mind with tales of his evil sister.  Her father left and Sarah climbed out of bed.  She immediately wished she hadn’t when Karen walked in.

Her sickly sweet voice and forced kindness made Sarah nauseous.  “I bought some clothes for you to change into, seeing as how you didn’t bring any from school.  So,” Karen took a seat at the edge of the bed and handed Sarah a plastic department store bag.

“Thank you,” Sarah replied.  She took the bag and set it down.  The guest bedroom//office/Sarah’s old bedroom was now adjoined with a bathroom and Sarah stepped inside and turned on the faucet, hoping that Karen would take the hint and just leave her be.

“So when do you think you will be heading back?  The hospital released you in to your father’s, um, our care and the doctor thought that as soon as you were up and moving, that you could return to your normal events.  I mean, really, school shouldn’t cause you so much stress, if you don’t think you can handle New York, then perhaps a community college would better suit you, one out of state of course….”

“Karen,” Sarah stopped her, the feeling of total emptiness welling up inside her once again, “I will be leaving by the end of the week.  Dad said that my roommate found me passed out and couldn’t wake me, that it must have been some kind of panic attack or stress attack or something.  I have some meds, and I will be back at school soon enough.”  Sarah turned back to the sink and began to wash her face.

“Now Sarah,” Karen began, her voice patronizing, “that is hardly what I meant.  You know you are welcome to stay here with your father as long as you like.  I simply wanted to know when you thought you would feel better.”

You simply wanted to know when I would be out of your precious, perfect, life, Sarah thought. 

“Now, I suggest you clean up, put on the clothes Toby and I picked out for you and get some fresh air.  The sooner you are up and moving the sooner you will feel better.”  Karen forced a smile, and began to turn, when she noticed Sarah’s left hand and the ring on it.  “You know dear, I am glad to see you have begun to develop a little taste in jewelry, but your left ring finger is intended for a wedding ring, not something you picked up at a flea market.”  Karen shook her head and left.

Sarah felt nothing at the woman’s stabbing remarks and bitter words.  She felt nothing when her father had kissed her head, and felt nothing at the thought of going for a walk or returning to school.  She didn’t remember being stressed out about school or feeling ill or anything at all.  She didn’t remember anything aside from having a little too much to drink, and a storm, and eyes…….Sarah shook her head, closed the bathroom door and drew a hot bath.  She laid herself in the steaming water and closed her eyes, drifting again to that place between waking and sleep.

She smiled to herself as she imagined a little creature poking its head into her bathing room asking if she was alright, her subconscious mind recreating events.  And then a man, a man that frightened her with violet eyes, peering at her through the water, striking her, hurting her……Sarah bolted upright in the bath.  The water had gone cold, but she looked at the clock over the door and not ten minutes had passed.  She finished bathing and hopped out, her heart still racing and the violet eyes etched into her mind’s eye.  She wouldn’t forget them.

She opened the door into the bedroom and rifled through the clothes that Karen had purchased for her.  Two pairs of straight legged jeans that were both too big and would hang around her hips, a pair of sneakers on clearance, a bra, leopard print, and a couple of black tees, surprisingly the right size.  Sarah rolled her eyes, she knew Karen had gone out of her way to purchase things for her that were wrong, but did it in such a way that seemed like a kind gesture.  She slipped into the jeans and shirt, brushed her dark hair, and popped on her sneakers, all the while the violet eyes staring back at her from inside.  She opened the door, and dizziness nearly overtook her, but she steadied herself, she needed to think, and somehow she knew those eyes were important, that those eyes would open the door to her memories.  She walked down the stairs and out the door, to the park.  She always thought better in the park.

Sarah reached the bottom of the stairs and was greeted by one very excited Toby, “SARAH! Where you goin’?  Your pants are too big!”

Sarah couldn’t help but smile, she loved Toby so much, would do anything for him.  She would turn the world upside down to get to him if anything ever happened……Sarah furrowed her brow, something inside of her was trying to push its way to the surface, trying to let her remember.  “Yeah, they are aren’t they?” Sarah said, just loud enough for Karen to hear it. “I’m going for a walk, big guy, probably down to the park.  You in?”

“Can I go dad?” Toby asked, pleading with his hands.

“Toby, your sister might want to be alone.  She is just getting her feet back on the ground….” Karen began.

“I don’t mind at all,” Sarah was quick to cut her off.

“Pleeeeease dad?” Toby begged.

“If Sarah says it’s okay, then it’s okay by me, kiddo.  Just be careful.”

Toby raced to his sister’s side and took her hand. Sarah smiled at Karen and her father and she and Toby walked to the door.

“Toby, didn’t you want to help me make cookies?”

“Later mom!” Toby said, “I gotta take care of Sarah first!” His impish smile made Sarah beam all the more. 

“See you guys later!” Sarah called over her shoulder, and out of the corner of her eye, she could see Karen glaring at her back and her sweet father, oblivious to it all.

Sarah sat on a bench, looking out over the small pond and watching her brother fight imaginary battles with demons and goblins and anything else his imagination could dream up.  Sarah knew she should have been gloating over the victory over Karen, but she felt nothing, knew that she should be loving every moment of spending time with her brother, but nothing.   She sighed.  The violet eyes were still staring at her, frightening her.  She focused on them, losing herself in their thought, but never taking her eyes from Toby.  She knew the eyes were a man’s, but she couldn’t remember ever meeting a man with violet eyes.  Her thoughts grew deeper and deeper as she stared out over the water. The eyes changed, and so did how she felt.  They shifted from violet to blue and green, staring back at her with love and sadness, and then they faded from her, and she was again filled with the emptiness.  So deep were her thoughts that she didn’t notice for a long time that there was a woman sitting beside her. 

“It is lovely out here,” Sarah jumped, the woman’s soft voice shaking her from her thoughts, “it reminds me of home.  I can see why this is where you come to feel closer to it.”  The woman struck Sarah as somehow familiar.  She was delicate and her long dark hair rested in a single braid the traced all the way down to her waist.

“Ex…excuse me?” was all Sarah could stutter.  This woman was beautiful and so familiar and her features hid a strength that Sarah could feel.  “I’m sorry to be rude, miss, but I would really like to be alone.”  Sarah turned and stared back over the water.  For some reason, this woman being here made her even more sad, feel even more lost.

“So would he, or so he thinks.  But he doesn’t, you know.  Sometimes love just needs to be reminded that it’s there.”  Sarah turned back to the woman, whose eyes welled with tears, matching Sarah’s own.  The woman took Sarah’s hand and traced the ring with her finger.  It glowed slightly, a soft blue. “Sometimes magic needs to be reminded too.”  And she was gone.  Sarah jumped up from the bench as Toby came running up panting.  “Who was you talking to?”

“Um, a uh, a friend.  I think.” Sarah stammered.  She looked up at the clock, it was later than she had thought – 3:13, which struck her for some reason as odd.

“You don’t know if you’re friends with her or not?  That’s weird.”  Sarah laughed, reasoning that the woman must have just left and she must have blacked out for a bit and that was why she didn’t remember her leaving or so much time passing.  “I’m hungry! Can we go get something?”

“We should probably head back, hon I’m feeling a little tired.”

“Okay! Mom’ll make us something!”

“Probably with striknine.” Sarah grumbled under her breath.

“What’s chickenlime?” Toby asked, his nose crinkling up.

Sarah just laughed, and had she looked down, she would have seen the ring still faintly glowing blue.

Sarah awoke from her dream, sitting straight up in bed, sweat pouring off of her.  The same dream, only this time, she felt everything, the pain, the love, the emptiness, as if it was happening to her.  She was drenched in sweat and shivering cold.  She looked at the clock, 7:30.  She was probably late for dinner and Karen most likely didn’t make extra.  She pulled on the clean t-shirt and nearly passed out.  Her head was spinning with images of crystals and goblins, of dancing and swirling colors, of a garden path, of confessions of love, and of a library where she lay in a man’s arms.  When she tried to focus on his face, the dizziness overtook her and she nearly fell to the floor.  The only thing that brought her to her senses was a quiet knock at her door and the soft voice of Toby.  “Sarah?  You awake?”  Sarah shakily got to her feet, the images temporarily forgotten.  “Yeah, Toby, I’m here.” 

“You okay?” A very concerned Toby asked as he walked in and sat beside his sister on the floor.

“Yeah, kiddo, I’m fine.” The truth was that Sarah was exhausted.  More tired than she would ever admit, and so empty inside.  The only time she felt alive anymore was when she was dreaming.  The violet eyes from earlier had been replaced by mismatched ones and they bored through to her very heart, aching with sadness.

“Mom got dinner from some Mexican place, you should come down and have some.” A worried little Toby said as he stood up to leave.  “Sarah?” His voice was very soft.

“What is it kid?” Sarah asked, her weakness coming through in her voice.

“You aren’t gonna leave me again are you?”

“I have to go back to school hon.  But I won’t ever leave you.”

“Are you gonna go be with Jareth?” Sarah’s ring glowed softly.

Sarah’s heart stopped.  That single word opened the flood gate that was holding her memories back and image after imaged stormed through her mind’s eye.  Magic flooded her senses and an intense feeling of power and strength flowed through her very blood.  Her head pounded against the onslaught of memories, but she welcomed the pain, for it brought with it the strength that had been taken from her.  The emptiness was gone.  All that remained in its place was the pain and hurt of his abandoning her.  Why, after moving mountains to find her, had he returned her to this Aboveground nightmare?

“Toby,” Sarah began, her voice strong and clear, the dark circles under her eyes gone, the memories and magic flooded through her.  Jareth’s spell had been broken with the uttering of his name “where did you hear that name?”  She was kneeling now in front of him, at eye level.

“A man told me to ask you about him.  He was so cool Sarah – he had all these pictures his skin, and he had a shaved head, and he was talking to me when you were talking to that lady in the park.  He gave me this too!”  Toby pulled the chain from under his shirt, it had a blue stone charm on it.  “He said no matter where you go, even if you go to be with that guy Jareth, I can always talk to you though this!”  Toby sat staring deeply into the stone, mesmerized by it.

“Toby,” Sarah said quietly, staring at him and softly smiling, tears playing at the edges of her eyes.  She kissed his forehead softly and stood up, “I have to take off for a bit, kiddo.  I will talk with you soon though, I promise.  Keep the necklace close to your heart always.”

“But where are you going?” Toby asked, panic rising in his voice, he didn’t want his sister to leave again.

“I just have to get some answers.  I will talk to you tomorrow though, promise.  Okay?”

Toby frowned, but a twinkle lit up his eyes at Sarah’s request, “Don’t tell Daddy or Karen where I went, okay?  It will be our secret, and they are gonna pretend like I was never here, got it?” Toby winked at his sister and headed for the door.  He stopped just short and turned around and rand headlong back to his sister wrapping her legs in a bear-hug. 

“Promise you will be back soon?”

Sarah got down on her knees and looked her kid brother in the eyes, “Toby, I would reorder time for you.  I would fight through dangers untold and hardships unnumbered to be with you.  Never forget that.”  She hugged her brother and sent him on his way.

Standing to her full height, the smile that had just played on her lips melted.  With a thought and simple wave of her hand, she was dressed in black pants and black riding boots with a blue corset over a long sheer black shirt and leather gloves.  Her hair was loose around her shoulders and she called forth a crystal.  “I need to know why you sent me away.”  And she was gone.